LOVE

Romantic Love Is An Illusion

Romanic love, argues Alain de Botton, has destroyed our capacity for real love. The idea of finding a ‘soulmate’ who will magically satisfy all of our longings is a common misconception. The reality of real love is somewhat more complex. Human beings are essentially flawed. We have complex personality characteristics and no-one is easy to live with, including ourselves. De Botton argues that both parties will be required to acknowledge their individual psychological dynamics. A healthy relationship requires the couple to find a way of managing the intersection of their individual peculiarities. 

Romantic Love Is A Catastrophe

Arguably enamoured with the idea of true love, the Slovenian philosopher, Slavoj Žižek, humorously describes the delight of falling in love. It is this delight which assumes a delusional quality; the thoughts and feelings associated with romantic love simply do not correspond with reality. For example, the idea that there is one special person out there that we are destined to meet and who will fulfil all of our unmet needs. Žižek describes how we become enslaved to our new-found love and sacrifice ourselves in the interest of achieving and maintaining this fictitious state.