Areas of Focus

Loneliness

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“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of “parties” with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. […] Yes, there is joy, fulfilment and companionship – but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
— SYLVIA PLATH

The following types of loneliness have been identified: 

  • Social loneliness: this concerns an impoverished social network i.e. friends.

  • Emotional loneliness: this involves a lack of deep and nurturing relationships and includes romantic loneliness and family loneliness.

  • Cultural loneliness: this can be experienced by expats and immigrants who miss their usual ways of life.

  • Existential loneliness: this is an inescapable part of the human condition. We come into the world alone, travel through life as an independent person (even though we may be in relationship), and we die alone (even though we may be surrounded by loved ones).

What can we do when experiencing these various forms of loneliness?

Social and emotional loneliness are often influenced by our particular attachment style and its impact on our relationships. For example, an ambivalent attachment pattern is likely to undermine our relationships due to the association of closeness with hurt. As a result, loved ones are kept at arm’s length and we unknowingly contribute to feelings of loneliness.

Cultural loneliness is unlikely to be fully remedied and is often managed by the nationals of a country spending time together.

Existential loneliness is unavoidable and requires that we construct meaning and develop purpose, although this is far easier said than done.

References

DiTommaso, E., & Spinner, B. (1997). Social and emotional loneliness: A re-examination of Weiss' typology of loneliness. Personality and Individual Differences, 22(3), 417–427.

Frankl, V. (1962). Man's search for meaning; An introduction to logotherapy. Boston: Beacon Press.

Weiss, R. (1973). Loneliness: the experience of emotional and social isolation. Cambridge:  The MIT Press.